News
9 December 2008
When the Festive Season is not so Festive for Families.
In recent years the press have reported that 8 January is the busiest day of the year for family lawyers. It is true that family lawyers often receive lots of enquiries from potential new clients in the aftermath of Christmas and the New Year.
The reasons for this seem to be a combination of emotional and financial pressures. Christmas is a stressful time for all families, even the most well adjusted. If there are problems in a relationship these tend to come to a head when people spend long periods of time together, without the distraction of work or other non-family activities. Added to these pressures are the money worries which tend to raise their heads after the holiday is over and the bills start landing on the doormat. And of course alcohol doesn’t make the problems go away, if anything it can make things a great deal worse.
So what do you do if you find yourself on New Year’s Eve feeling that you really cannot face another year with your spouse?
Well, firstly, don’t make any hasty decisions. For the sake of yourself and your spouse, and most importantly the children, you need to think very carefully about what could be a life changing decision. Give yourself some time, even two or three months. You may find that you feel quite differently once the immediate pressures have receded.
Get help and advice. The organisation Relate can assist in all sorts of ways, and they offer help to individuals when required, not just couples. All family lawyers offer initial consultations to clients who just want to know “where they stand” and what their legal position would be if they were to separate.
Avoid flashpoints. Arguments are rarely productive. They are unpleasant at the best of times, and when emotions are running high they can be very destructive. Most importantly they can be distressing and frightening for children who witness them. If you absolutely have to have a “heart to heart” with your spouse about your relationship try to do it on neutral ground and away from children or well-meaning third parties.
Whatever happens, try to keep the lines of communication open, particularly if you have children. Children are always the casualties of family breakdown, however the impact can be lessened if parents put the children’s interests first and work together to shield them as far as possible from the consequences of separation.
Family lawyers can help. A good family lawyer will tailor the advice given to the client’s needs, so it is important to explain to your lawyer exactly what is important to you. There are lots of alternatives to going to court to resolve family disputes, many of them much better and cheaper than the traditional approach. For instance, mediation is a well established means of resolving financial and children issues following separation. Collaborative law is another approach which also focuses on enabling people to work out issues themselves. By seeking good legal advice promptly you can help to ensure that the destructive impact of separation is kept to a minimum.
And if that doesn’t work? The sad truth is that things can go very badly wrong, and the combination of emotional pressures and alcohol over Christmas can sometimes lead to domestic violence. If you find yourself a victim of domestic violence it is important not to suffer in silence. You need to alert the police, who now offer support services by specially trained officers. Your lawyer will be able to advise you on how best to deal with the situation, for example by seeking an injunction from the court.
For advice regarding any family or matrimonial problems please contact Fiona Craig on 01782 205 000.
Disclaimer
The contents of this article are for the purposes of general awareness only. They do not purport to constitute legal or professional advice. The law may have changed since this article was published. Readers should not act on the basis of the information included and should take appropriate professional advice upon their own particular circumstances.
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